Thursday, September 04, 2008

My Take On Marriage

I don't know whether you agree with marriage or not, but I assume that 90% percent of the population in the Philippines is in favor of marriage. I have nothing against marriage, it is only that when marriage creates inconveniences and unfavorable results for the couples and their offspring is when I am with ardent displeasure. Through the years, I have seen marriages that succeed and failed, and many that I knew are the ones that failed. Maybe because they get into marriage unprepared or don't know anymore how to keep the fire burning.

One of the common mistakes that lead to unsuccessful marriage is the immaturity of the couple. In the Philippines, many marriages happen because of premarital sex that leads to pregnancy. And because Philippines is a predominantly Catholic country, its culture is mainly shaped by religion where pregnancy out of wedlock is unacceptable and considered a disgrace to the family. Because of these pressures, the couple get into marriage where most of them are without financial and emotional capacity to sustain a healthy family. Many of them are underage and most do not even have stable jobs. From 2005 to 2008, brides under 20 years of age comprise 13.4% of total marriage and 36.8%(bride) and 30%(groom) are ages 20-24 ( This age bracket is the critical age where a person has just graduated from college and has started to build their dreams and are investing for their future family. Is premarital sex to be blamed? I think not. If the Catholic church is effective in preaching to its flock, the cons of premarital sex, then why do we still have this dilemma? 0.07 percent of birth is from ages 15-19 most active in NCR, and 3.6% ages 20-24. You might think that this is a small percentage, but it still has an effect in the quality of life for these families in a very unstable economy of the Philippines. Pre-marital sex is again a matter of choice and responsibility. Should the church not be hypocrite on the nature of man and his needs, then at least people will know what real meaning of responsibility is.

Whatever is one's reason for getting married, originally, the Church has nothing to do with it. Marriage is simply a contract for the couple. It is often said that marriage is a tripartite bonding between man, god, and woman, that dogma only came from the Church who wanted to manipulate individuals. Back in the Middle Ages, the church didn't meddle on marriages specially on peasants.

Marriage by that time was only for the convenience of the wealthy who wanted to protect their properties and bloodlines. Powerful families such as kings and dukes would marry a bride or groom from an affluent family to expand their wealth and power. There is nothing "holy" about marriage. The church might do the ceremony only for the wealthy families, but since the popularity of wedding among peasants became widespread, then they began to get their hands on it, of course for control. It has since then become part of the system. Back then, marriage has become a contract wherein the wife is considered the property of his husband. But, now we believe that God is the one who made it all happen! (ang pinagsama ng Diyos ay hindi maaring paghiwalayin ng tao/What God has put together, let no man put asunder).

For me, marriage is a wonderful thing for people who truly love each other. Which means, it is more than a paper for couples who are deeply in love.

It is one way of telling the world you are crazy for this person, head over heels and wanted each other for life.

But with or without it, what is most important is that element that binds these two people together, that something in between..

not God.

not property.

but that precious thing called


There is nothing more powerful than the power of love.

1 comment:

mile said...

have you ever been in love?head over heels to someone?